Exposing Major Blind Spots of Homeschoolers

 by Reb Bradley

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In the last couple of years, I have heard from multitudes of troubled homeschool parents around the country, a good many of whom were leaders. These parents have graduated their first batch of kids, only to discover that their children didn’t turn out the way they thought they would. Many of these children were model homeschoolers while growing up, but sometime after their 18th birthday they began to reveal that they didn’t hold to their parents’ values.

Some of these young people grew up and left home in defiance of their parents. Others got married against their parents’ wishes, and still others got involved with drugs, alcohol, and immorality. I have even heard of several exemplary young men who no longer even believe in God. My own adult children have gone through struggles I never guessed they would face.

Most of these parents remain stunned by their children’s choices, because they were fully confident their approach to parenting was going to prevent any such rebellion.

After several years of examining what went wrong in our own home and in the homes of so many conscientious parents, God has opened our eyes to a number of critical blind spots common to homeschoolers and other family-minded people. (more…)

Older Women Wanted

By Mary Pride
Printed in Practical Homeschooling #40, 2001.

 

Sixteen years ago, I wrote a book called The Way Home. An exposition of Titus 2:3-5, it made these points among others:

  • A mother’s role in the home is not socially irrelevant; rather, it is the antidote to socialism
  • We depend far too much on credentialed experts for schooling and child training advice
  • Homeschooling is biblically sound, and may be necessary in the light of what is happening to the schools
  • Children are a blessing

Many young, college-educated women read The Way Home. Like most of my generation, they hardly knew how to boil water (let alone cook) or change a diaper (let alone handle a large family). Convinced by the Bible’s reasoning that motherhood was a ministry to be embraced, they nonetheless felt deeply uncertain about their mothering, homeschooling, and homeworking abilities.

I received hundreds of letters, all saying the same thing:

Titus 2 the Apostle Paul tells the older women to teach the younger women: “To be sober [serious], to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

Up by Our Bootstraps

The younger women who responded to this call in 1985 found to their distress that few older women were available to serve as mentors and role models. Our parents’ generation had followed the model of a planned family of just a few kids, who were sent to public school. Our own mothers knew nothing about homeschooling; in fact, they were likely to be hostile to the notion. Far from supporting large families, older women in the church were more likely to treat any woman pregnant with her third or fourth child like she was mildly demented. Any women who wanted to stay at home and raise her own kids was automatically treated as a second-class citizen.

But those young women were hardy. They dug in and started learning what they could, where they could. For a while, the newsletter HELP For Growing Families served as a forum where we could all share our questions and answers on child training, family life, and home business. Meanwhile, homeschooling support groups had been forming; court cases were fought to establish our right to homeschool; some of us researched homeschool materials and published how-to books.

Years passed. Our families grew older. The complexion of homeschooling changed. Many more books were published. Credentialed experts began taking an interest in homeschooling and appearing at homeschool conferences. Secular publishers began thinking about the “homeschool market” and how to penetrate it by repositioning their products. Educational software bloomed. The Internet blossomed.

A Farewell to Arms?

And now I’m getting letters like this:

“Years ago I read The Way Home and it changed my life! I’ve had a large family, all of them homeschooled. Your books and publications have been such a big help – thank you! My youngest just graduated homeschool and has been accepted at a good college, and now I want to cancel my subscription, since we are no longer homeschooling.”

When I got the first such letter, I said, “Hmm.” When I got the second, I began to wonder. After a while, I finally figured out what was bothering me. It was not the subscription cancellations – they aren’t exactly a flood, and in fact at first I was trying to convince myself that they were a proof of our success. After all, hadn’t we succeeded in “working ourselves out of a job,” which all along had been our goal?

Here’s what was bothering me. None of those letters said the writer intended to help new homeschooling parents. It sounded like the opposite: “Now that my children are grown, I can forget all about keeping up with homeschooling.” Yet these are the exact same ladies who years ago were writing and calling me, practically in tears, begging me to find them older women who could serve as mentors!

Admittedly, homeschooling is much easier and more socially acceptable now than it was 16 years ago. But that does not mean new homeschooling parents don’t need help. In a way, they need more help, because they are often not as rock-solid in their educational philosophy and reasons for homeschooling as the first generation, whose convictions were forged in the fires of persecution.

You’re Still Needed

If you are one of those “older women” who has been homeschooling for a while, I beg you to consider this. You started homeschooling, not just for the sake of homeschooling, but to serve the Lord. You spent five, ten, fifteen, or twenty years in the school of Hard Knocks learning just what works, just what doesn’t, and what effect it all has on a child’s heart and soul. Your ministry has been certified and approved by the results in the lives of your growing and grown children. Is now the time to drop out of the homeschooling community – just when you are finally able to serve the parents?

You asked where the older women were.

Thou art the woman.

Ten Tips for Managing a Multi-Level Homeschool

The Organized Homeschooler

. . . I have to admit that teaching several levels at once is one of my favorite things.
Malia Russell
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When I think about all the things I love about home-schooling, I have to admit that teaching several levels at once is one of my favorite things. I love seeing the progress of children as they move forward in their studies. I enjoy the joyful moments when a child starts to read independently or when one math student is tutoring another in a lesson she learned the prior year. I love reminding the children about how they were a few years earlier, when they were learning the same skills that their younger siblings are learning currently. I love seeing the older children sitting breathless, waiting to clap as a younger student masters something difficult. However, homeschooling many ages simultaneously does have its challenges.

First, with children of multiple ages, it can be hard to tutor everyone at the same time. It is also difficult to keep everyone on track—one mom, lots of ages and stages; if you are living it, you get the picture. As a mother of six children, aged newborn to 22, I have been managing a multi-level homeschool for many years now.

Here are the top ten suggestions I share with moms to make managing a multilevel homeschool easier.

1 Try to combine subjects when it is appropriate. For example, my children can cover some aspects of the following subjects together: History, Science, Bible, Reading, Music, and P.E.

There are some curricula that are already written with the idea of multi-level teaching in mind, and those offer options for children of different ages, but an intuitive mother can take just about any curriculum and adjust it for the varying needs of her children.

2 Try to keep your schedule free from a lot of distractions. If all the children are involved in different activities, you will find that you spend far too much time getting ready to go, going, and recovering from going. Try to limit required activities outside the home to just one day per week. If you have to go out any other days, try to keep it to a minimum.

3 Take time to teach your children to work independently when possible. It may take several days to help a particular child learn to be diligent to complete a lesson without your direct supervision, but once you have done ample training in this area, you should be able to trust your children to do much of their work, even when you are not working directly with them one-on-one. Sometimes, this means choosing particular curricula that lead to more independent learning, and sometimes it means teaching the children how to handle issues they encounter while learning, such as what to do when the child has questions. For example, when working math problems, your child may have several choices when encountering a difficult math problem, including these:

• Wait for you until you come back to them.

• Circle the problem and move on with the lesson until you return.

• Come get you for help.

• Ask a sibling for help.

• Get the answer key, look up the solution, and then try to work the problem independently.

. . . An intuitive mother can take just about any curriculum and adjust it for the varying needs of her children.

All of these possibilities are acceptable, depending on the child, his age, and maturity level. Proper choices may also vary among subjects. If you have not taken the time to give your child very specific instructions about how to handle these questions, you may waste a lot of time correcting the child for making the wrong choice.

4 Enjoy help that is offered from relatives. Grandparents often enjoy taking one or a couple of children out for special trips or special days. If grandparents are willing to help, ask them to do educational activities with the children for whom the activities are appropriate.

5 Teach the children to be considerate of one another. It is important for younger children to know how to entertain themselves without getting into trouble during brief periods while Mom is busy helping a student. They must also learn how to keep quiet when others are trying to concentrate and how to tolerate the noises others make in a busy household. Even a well-run homeschool will often be riddled with the sounds of people, including an occasional crying baby, the thumping of toddler feet, and noisy toys. As children get older, these sounds may be replaced with the clicking of texting and the distant hum of music through headphones. Some children walk loudly, talk loudly, and even breathe loudly.

If you have easily distracted children, or those prone to distract others, take the time to work on those skills individually as they are needed. Teach coping techniques and allow some distance between children, depending on the layout of your home and the maturity of the students.

6 If you are teaching several grades, that often means you are grading several lessons a day as well. Try to keep up with grading daily. When you find yourself falling behind, allow the children to use the answer key and grade their own work. This is not a good long-term solution for all classes and all subjects, but used occasionally, it may give a mom of many grades a few extra minutes needed to train on some of the matters that have come to her attention throughout the day.

Keep an orderly home. It is a good idea every month or so to take time to declare an organizational day or week. Take the time to clean out binders, tidy bookshelves, straighten closets, and de-clutter rooms. Everyone is more efficient in cleaner surroundings.

If you have a very disorganized home, you may need to tackle just one small area per week and then maintain it. There are many methods and books about home organizing. Get one if you need it, and start working on these skills. Have the children join you in these projects at whatever level they are able to help.

Use the tools of the trade. Every worker has tools to make his jobs easier. For a homeschool mom those tools include a good calendar and a great planner. You can also use computer programs to track work, CDs and books on tape to educate and entertain, and even an occasional video to supplement learning or to entertain young ones while you are schooling older children. You can use electronics that record time as incentives to complete work in a timely way. You can use fun educational programs to drill math facts, develop spelling skills, and help teach geography. Using these modern tools of the trade should be a benefit when used in addition to the traditional methods.

. . . Most importantly, teach your children God’s Word.

9 Give children ways to display or share their hard work. Art or Scripture copy work can be given as gifts to family members or elderly people from church. Having a display day or celebrating academic progress can be a big incentive for children to work to their fullest potential. Simply putting the latest work on the refrigerator or in a binder to share with Daddy when he comes home can reassure your students that their hard work is appreciated.

Finally, and most importantly, teach your children God’s Word. Adorn your house with verses that encourage kindness, diligence, and honoring others. Study God’s Word together. Listen to hymns and other Christian music during work breaks. Print key verses in beautiful fonts from your computer, or write Scripture on a dry erase board for all to see. Purchase some washable glass markers with which to put encouraging words on the mirrors in the bathrooms. Having a home where everyone is striving to live according to God’s Word certainly makes discipleship and loving one another easier.

For more information about this topic, please check out my workshop on this topic.

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Malia Russell is the blessed wife to Duncan, thankful mother to five children (newborn to 22), and an author, conference speaker and director ofwww.homemaking911.com  and www.wheatnthings.com.