{"id":2050,"date":"2014-02-14T06:30:34","date_gmt":"2014-02-14T13:30:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/arkansashomeschool.org\/?p=2050"},"modified":"2014-02-11T09:46:10","modified_gmt":"2014-02-11T16:46:10","slug":"living-in-liberty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/arkansashomeschool.org\/index.php\/2014\/02\/14\/living-in-liberty\/","title":{"rendered":"Living in Liberty"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Diana Waring\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Freedom in relationships\u2014the amazing impact freedom brings to relationships\u2014that\u2019s where we are going in this column, but we have to start with a brief history lesson from Russia. When we talk about a family \u201cliving in liberty,\u201d questions inevitably arise concerning parental\u2014or even church\u2014authority. So, before the questions begin, consider a real-life example of what can happen when authority and freedom collide outside the bounds of love.<\/p>\n

In the 1800s, an ancient political theory known as anarchy\u2014\u201can absence of government and the absolute freedom of the individual\u201d\u2014became popular, especially in Russia. Believing that authority and freedom could not peacefully coexist, and given the brutal conditions of life under the tsar, many Russian anarchists chose to use violence against rulers in their attempt to gain political freedom during an authoritarian age. It is fascinating to note that the tutor of Tsar Alexander III viewed the Western form of political liberty (defined as \u201cfree from oppressive restrictions imposed by authority on one\u2019s way of life, behavior, or political views\u201d) as dangerous!1<\/sup> The end result of the rising tensions between individuals and groups who were seeking \u201cfreedom\u201d and authoritarian rulers who were keeping \u201ccontrol\u201d of the masses was the destabilization of Russia, a major factor in the overthrow of the tsar and the success of the October Revolution by communists in 1917.<\/p>\n

Assuming that you do not reign as a tsar in your home, your children are probably not going to seek the absolute freedom of anarchy! On the other hand, if your children are \u201cborn free and running wild,\u201d will they discover the safety and joy that come from a Biblical model of parental authority? The challenge we each face is to discover the middle ground: appropriate liberty for our children with an appropriate authority for us as their parents\u2014and to develop both of these with 1 Corinthians 13-style love. \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

To help with the discovery process, here\u2019s a bit of our story\u2014lessons learned in the homeschool \u201cof hard knocks.\u201d As a young parent, having never been around children much, I was astonished by all the ways my kids could find to upset my apple cart. From accidentally breaking a hand-thrown bowl (my one victory in a semester of learning how to use a potter\u2019s wheel) to intentionally leaving a mess in the kitchen, from arguing over whose turn it was to sit in the front seat to criticizing each other\u2019s singing, the number of things that could go wrong when kids were involved was mind-boggling. So, being the mom in a mess, I decided that what my kids needed were rules! Lots of them . . . rules for every common condition and every potential problem. If they invented a new mistake outside the current set of rules, I would quickly invent a new rule in hopes of covering every trouble and circumstance.<\/p>\n

I was actually starting to feel good, enjoying the sense of being in control through enforcement of my limitless lists of rules. My children, however, were not feeling as good. In fact, they were being increasingly wrapped up in a straitjacket as I added new rules at every turn: \u201cFrom now on, you must always . . . \u201d and \u201cFrom now on, you will never again . . . \u201d and \u201cHurry up!\u201d and \u201cSlow down!\u201d etc., etc., etc.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure how they would have actually made it to adulthood if my husband had not wisely stepped in to deal with the situation as it was getting out of hand. Being a man of few words, Bill simply looked at me one day and said, \u201cDiana, too many rules.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cToo many rules.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not getting it. Do you mean to say a person can have too many rules?????\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, according to Galatians 5:14, there is really only one rule we actually need for life: Love each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was too simple. Could love actually be the one and only, the rule to cover every situation, circumstance, difficulty, disagreement? Much to my amazement, as we began talking through the concept of putting love into practice and addressing the issues I was facing in parenting\u2014and our children began learning to put love into practice with each other, not only to solve problems now but to learn how to handle life as adults\u2014I discovered that it was, in fact, the only rule that we actually needed.<\/p>\n

I had to look at the children as persons made in God\u2019s image, not as crowds to be controlled; as my dear ones, not as anarchists. Which is more relational, to scream \u201cSlow down and don\u2019t be so clumsy!\u201d or to suggest \u201cWhen we deal with precious things, there is a carefulness we need: me for your stuff and you for other people\u2019s stuff\u201d? The freedom is in learning to love, and learning to love gives rise to care for others and the things others care about.<\/p>\n

Rules that come from truth without grace harshly demand, \u201cDon\u2019t touch pottery! Don\u2019t touch!\u201d Those kinds of rules give birth to resistance and defiance. When the question \u201cWhat have you done?\u201d is yelled with anger, the answer is hard to find. Living in liberty asks, with kindness in one\u2019s heart, \u201cWere you being careful and looking for a loving way to do things?\u201d When the question is asked with the fruit of the Spirit, the answer can more easily be voiced. What we will discover over time is that using our freedom to love is powerful.<\/p>\n

When I have shared this story at homeschool conventions, often someone raises the question of whether or not we had rules governing what time our kids went to bed and whether they brushed their teeth. Of course we had practices in place for everyday life. But what had been my ever-growing set of rules for handling conflict and resolving troubles was wisely replaced by the One Rule for human relationships: Love your neighbor as yourself.<\/p>\n

Endnote:<\/p>\n

Kenneth Scott Latourette. Christianity in a Revolutionary Age, Volume II,Michigan: Zondervan, 1959, page 451.<\/p>\n

Diana Waring, author of <\/em>Beyond Survival<\/strong>, <\/em>Reaping the Harvest<\/strong>, and <\/em>History\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>Revealed <\/em><\/strong>curriculum, discovered years ago that \u201cthe key to education is relationship.\u201d \u00a0<\/em>Beginning in the 80s, Diana homeschooled her children through high school\u2014providing\u00a0<\/em>the real-life opportunities to learn how kids learn. Mentored by educators whose focus\u00a0<\/em>was to honor Him who created all learners, and with an international background\u00a0<\/em>(born in <\/em>Germany<\/em>, B. A. in French), Diana has been enthusiastically received by audiences\u00a0<\/em>on four continents.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>Copyright 2012, used with permission.\u00a0 All rights reserved by author.\u00a0 Originally appeared in the June 2012 issue of The Old Schoolhouse\u00ae Magazine, <\/em>the family education magazine.\u00a0 Read the magazine free at www.TOSMagazine.com<\/a> or read it on the go and download the free apps at www.TOSApps.com<\/a> to read the magazine on your mobile devices.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Diana Waring\u00a0   Freedom in relationships\u2014the amazing impact freedom brings to relationships\u2014that\u2019s where we are going in this column, but we have to start with a brief history lesson from Russia. When we talk about a family \u201cliving in liberty,\u201d questions inevitably arise concerning parental\u2014or even church\u2014authority. So, before the questions begin, consider a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[90,80],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2050","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-2","category-single-parents"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/arkansashomeschool.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2050","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/arkansashomeschool.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/arkansashomeschool.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arkansashomeschool.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arkansashomeschool.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2050"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/arkansashomeschool.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2050\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2052,"href":"https:\/\/arkansashomeschool.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2050\/revisions\/2052"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/arkansashomeschool.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2050"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arkansashomeschool.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2050"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/arkansashomeschool.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2050"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}